Rules and Chaos

During the school year I'm a stickler for rules, organization and routine; no television, no technology, wake up early and a tidy apartment. Not surprisingly, summer vacation is most certainly my favorite time of the year. As my children grow older, I've learned to appreciate the time I get to spend with them. The rules are meant to be broken and chaos triumphs all sense of order. As the children sleep in till 10 or 11 a.m., dishes, laundry and dust pile up. Our days are spent being outdoors, playing board games, Legos or reading books and our evenings watching films. At the moment, our children are obsessed with 'The Princess Bride'  and enact Inigo Montoya all day long: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die". Yup, all day long!

At the beginning of summer, our tiny apartment looks spotless and organized and orderly. However, by the end of summer vacation it looks like what the after effects of an elephant stampede and a tornado happening simultaneously would look like. I don't mind it, knowing that summer is short and the children are getting older, too fast, too soon. Plus, once school starts I have all the time to clean and organize. Normally the kids and I do a detailed cleaning and organizing a week before school begins to instill some order to the madness and chaos, which a new routine will most likely bring.

Nevertheless, all that seems to be a lingering memory of the past. This year we have decided to Cyber School the children in a 675 sq. ft. apartment. It was never part of the plan but due to unforeseen circumstances it’s happening. This means that I will have 4 children with me at all times, 24/7 for the next 365 days, who will be attending school virtually meaning their classroom is in front of a computer screen. To be honest, I'm still not sold on the idea and am still looking for options.

Any and all rules which have been established in the past are mocking me mercilessly. It’s a reminder that life is ever changing and being too set in our ways leads to nothing but misery. Yet, all my ocd heart and mind desire are order and  I'm hopeful that by the end of this weekend, I would have some routine and some sense of what I am doing. My entire knowledge, belief system and any system of order will be challenged to the max. And this, my friends is giving me more anxiety than all the uncertainties of life combined!

Before Summer

 Marker tower being built

With Love,

Jawaria